22nd & 23rd April, 2006
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Photo by
Edward Habib McKuen. ©2006 by Stanyan Audio Video Archives
A Thought for Today
Take chances, but don’t pawn the past to
pay for the future.
TO BEGIN WITH
Those of us who try to make A Safe Place to Land just that will be
starting our ninth year on the net at the end of this month. To prove
that the more things change the more they stay the same here’s a Flight
Plan from 1999.
A FLIGHT FROM6THE
PAST
11 February 1999
THE COLOR PURPLE
Just when you think real life can’t get anymore surreal, along comes an
item like the following (which was carried on the national news by all
three networks):
Jerry Falwell Warns That Teletubbies are giving innocent children a
Homosexual role model. According to the Liberace of religious leaders
"everyone knows purple is a homosexual color (?) and, Tinky Winky one of
the stars of television’s most popular children’s television show "The
Teletubbies", in addition to being purple, has the gay triangle symbol
on his head and carries a purse. We want parents to be aware so they can
combat this shameful pro-Homosexual propaganda."
Now that Dr. Spock has gone on to his reward, someone responsible has to
look out for the welfare of the country’s youngsters. The Daily Flight
Plan likes nothing more than to pass along helpful hints to parents and
would be parents so we are eager to spread the word whenever and
wherever we can be of help.
The makers of Teletubbies, an English firm called Itsy Bitsy
Entertainment Co. scoff and say it’s not a purse but a magic bag (a
likely story). They add that Falwell is "attacking something sweet and
innocent." A spokesperson for GLAAD says she’d be glad to give a
statement if she could stop laughing long enough to do so.
But what if Reverend Falwell is right? After all he warned everyone that
AIDS was "God’s revenge on Gays." Has anyone proven him wrong? If it
weren’t for the psychic Rev. F.’s pronouncement last month would we know
that "the anti-Christ is Jewish and probably already walks among us"?
True, he apologized for that one, but not "the facts, they came from
scripture," just that he might have offended some folks in giving us
‘the facts.’ Besides if the good reverend has his facts straight (I like
that word) this time, look out.
As every parent knows there is no such thing as gay boys and girls in
our nation’s schoolyards we should do nothing to help our heterosexual
children learn to get along with people that are unlike themselves. This
is not a skill they will ever need as adults is it? Exactly.
I suspect anything that’s too popular. Rap, for instance. Viagra. What
about Mom and Apple Pie, does that mean every mom who makes apple pies
is good? I think not. Why couldn’t The Teletubbies be a bad, evil, gay
conspiracy? It’s entirely possible. Doesn’t a name like Tinky Winky
raise a red, er, purple flag? And what does flag rhyme with? The subtle
clues are everywhere.
In fact, Reverend Falwell probably hasn’t gone far enough. For instance,
nearly every day our youngsters sing a song with the line "Purple
mountain majesties" in it. Might that not mean "Purple Mounted
Majesties" and refer to gay kings and (pardon the expression) queens on
horseback? If that isn’t promoting homosexuality what is? Now it becomes
a little more understandable why Alice Walker’s "The Color Purple" has
been banned in certain classrooms, it wasn’t about language at all.
Purple, indeed! Good for those enlightened school boards that removed
such a tome.
And while we’re at it why do our history books extol the brave men and
women who have earned The Purple Heart because of spilt blood on
battlefields? And why is it called The Purple Heart anyway? Talk about
scandals. Will they one day dig up military graveyards and discover,
Jerry Help Us, that some of our war dead were You Know What? Knowing how
given to propaganda this bunch is, maybe some of them got themselves
killed just to earn that medal. Think about it. It isn’t given to the
non-military lavender hill mob, you know.
The other day we bought a couple of iMacs for our mostly non-gay office.
I assure you we bought the blueberry and lime models, especially after
the dealer confided to us that the best selling model of all is grape.
Are they everywhere?
I’m as sick of smut as anybody, so I leave you to your own thoughts on
what song titles like "The Purple People Eater" and "Deep Purple" really
mean. What color is the dinosaur on that other popular kids show and why
isn’t Starr investigating that affair?
- RM 2/10/99
PS: Judgmental Jerry just won’t give up. Since 1999 when the above
column was written here are a couple more of his pronouncements that
should be taken to heart.
On September 13, 2001 Falwell appeared on the PTL television show with
Pat Robertson and the two religious leaders agreed that the terrorist
attack two days earlier was divine punishment for American immorality.
"God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to
give us probably what we deserve," said Mr. Falwell, who also declared,
"I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the
feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make
that an alternative lifestyle, the A.C.L.U., People for the American Way
— all of them who have tried to secularize America — I point the finger
in their face and say, 'You helped this happen.' "
A year later during a “60 Minutes” interview The Not So Very Reverend
Mr. F. declared, "I think Muhammad was a terrorist." Muhammad, he said,
was "a violent man" — NYT Times columnist Paul Krugman recently
observed, “unlike Mr. Falwell, I guess, who said of terrorists that we
should ‘blow them all away in the name of the Lord."
Last month Falwell issued a statement explaining that, in his view, Jews
can't go to heaven unless they convert to Christianity.
If you can’t identify with any of the above singled out for hell and
damnation, hang in there Scary Jerry will get around to naming Your Kind
soon enough. He is, if nothing else, an equal opportunity opportunist.
-RM 4/5/06
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