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A Thought for Today
The trouble with voting is that you usually end up electing
somebody.
I know how hungry all of you are for political news, since we've had so little of it lately . . . so . . .
GOD & THE SUPREME COURT
"The difference between God and The Supreme Court is that God doesn't think he's The Supreme Court. -Nadine Strossen, Politically
Incorrect.
DON'T KILL THE MESSENGER
This came from Karen Kircher who
writes:
"This is likely too late for the Friday pass-it-along, however, it is certainly timely."
You're right, Karen, so we saved it for Saturday.
THIS JUST IN BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT
Bush to be smitten later today
In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one
nation, under God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance and more pertinent to the American culture "In God We Trust" on the back of the money, to overrule Tuesday's Supreme Court decision that handed the White House to George Bush.
"I'm not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this
morning on a rare Today Show appearance, "but I'm sure as hell not going to lay back and let Bush get away with this nonsense."
"I've watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote
count in Florida will never be known.' Well, I'm God and I DO
know exactly who voted for whom. Let's cut to the chase: Gore
won Florida by exactly 20,219 votes."
Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected
verdict overrules the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to Al Gore, giving him a 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analyzing God's Word for possible grounds for appeal.
"God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign
strategist Jim Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S.
Presidential Election is unprecedented, unjust, and goes against the constitution of the state of Florida."
"Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded. "He's got some
surprises ahead of him, let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I mean."
God, who provided the exact vote counts for every Florida
precinct, explained that bad balloting machinery and voter
confusion was no grounds to give the White House to Bush.
"Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for
Buchanan. Get real! The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't
believe me? I'll name them: Anderson, Pete; Anderson,
Sam, Jr.; Arthur, James; Barnhardt, Ron..."
Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with
George W. Bush's prideful ways and announced that he would
officially smite him today. In an act of wrath unlike any reported
since the Book of Job, God has taken all of Bush's goats and
livestock, stripped him of his wealth and possessions, sold his
family into slavery, forced the former presidential candidate into hard labor in a salt mine, and afflicted him with deep boils.
Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy. The fate of Al Gore is yet undetermined. Several Archangels report that the Vice-President has also incurred God's wrath by distancing his campaign from the Clinton Presidency. Today Show staffers tell us God was overheard telling an aide in the Green Room "Gore coulda won by 3%," and I've half a mind to make Strom Thurmond President."
DUBYA ONE MORE TIME
"George W. spent his first day as President Elect attending church. The preacher spoke of Jesus and the Dubya. Apparently the subject of the
sermon was 'Those Who Get Their Jobs From Their Dads'" (Bill Maar on Politically Incorrect 12/14/2000)
THE LAST WORD
Why is Christmas like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
(Submitted by Sharon Sewell)
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