SATURDAY
STUFF |
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A Thought for Today
There is no payback for those who sacrificed their lives that we might live in freedom. All we can offer is to live by the example they set.
The two pieces which
follow appeared in Flight Plans a couple of months ago. I make no
apologies for including them again - they're terrific and well worth
reading again. If you missed them the first time around, this is your
lucky day!
Join me tomorrow for our
regular Sunday feature, "Some of the Best".
- Ken, Johannesburg, November 11
THE LORD'S PRAYER
Our Father who art in Heaven. . . .
Yes?
Don't interrupt me. I'm praying. . . .
But you called Me.
Called you? I didn't call you. I'm praying. Our Father who art in Heaven.
There, you did it again.
Did what?
Called Me. You said, "Our Father who art in Heaven. . ." Here I am. What's on your mind?
But I didn't mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day. I always say the Lord's Prayer. It makes me feel good, kind of like getting my duty done.
All right. Go on.
Hallowed be Thy name.
Hold it. What do you mean by that?
By what?
By "Hallowed be Thy name."
It means.... it means ....good grief, I don't know what it means. How should I know? It's just part of the prayer. By the way, what does it mean?
It means "honored," "Holy," "Wonderful."
Hey, that makes sense. I never thought about what "Hallowed" meant before. Thy Kingdom come, Thy
will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
Do you really mean that?
Sure, why not?
What are you going to do about it?
Doing? Nothing, I guess. I just think it would be neat if You got control of everything down here like You have up there.
Have I got control of you?
Well, I go to church.
That isn't what I asked you. What about that habit of lust you have? And your bad temper? You've
really got a problem there, you know. And then there's the way you spend your money...all on
yourself. And what about the kinds of books you read?
Stop picking on me! I'm just as good as some of the rest of those phonies at the church.
Excuse me... I thought you were praying for My will to be done. If that is to happen, it will have to start with the ones who are praying for it. Like you, for example.
Oh, all right! I guess I do have some hang-ups. Now that you mention it, I could probably name some others.
So could I.
I haven't thought about it until now, but I really would like to cut out some of those things. I'd like to, you know, be really free.
Good, now we're getting somewhere. We'll work together.... you and I can have some victories that can truly be won. I'm proud of you.
Look, Lord, I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot longer than it usually does... Give us this day our daily bread.
You need to cut down on the bread too... You're overweight as it is.
Hey, wait a minute! What is this, "Criticize Me Day?" Here I was doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden You break in and remind me of all my hang-ups.
Praying is a dangerous thing. You could wind up changed, you know. That's what I'm trying to get
across to you. You called me, and here I am. It's too late to stop now. Keep on praying. I'm interested in the next part of your prayer.... Well, go on.
I'm scared to.
Scared? Of what?
I know what you'll say.
Try Me and see.
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.
What about Sally?
See. I knew it! I knew you would bring her up! Why she's told lies about me, cheated me out of
money. She never paid back that debt she owes me. I've sworn to get even.
But your prayer... What about your prayer?
I didn't mean it.
Well, at least you're honest. But it's not much fun carrying the load of bitterness around inside is it?
No, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even. Boy, have I made some plans for Ol' Sally! She'll wish she never did me any harm.
You won't feel any better. You'll feel worse. Revenge isn't sweet. Think of how unhappy you are
already. But I can change all that.
You can? How?
Forgive Sally. Then I'll forgive you. Then the hate and sin will be Sally's problem and not yours. You may lose the money, but you will settle your heart.
But Lord, I can't forgive Sally.
Then I can't forgive you.
Oh, you're right! You always are. And more than I want revenge on Sally, I want to be right with You. All right! I forgive her. Help her to find the right road in life, Lord. She's bound to be awfully miserable, now that I think about it. Some way, some how, show her the right way.
There now! How do you feel?
Hmmm....not bad. Not bad at all, In fact I feel pretty great. You know, I don't think I'll have to go to bed uptight tonight for the first time since I can't remember. Maybe I won't be so tired from now on because I'm not getting enough rest.
You're not through with your prayer...Go on.
Oh, all right...And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Good...good. I'll do that. Just don't put yourself in a place where you can be tempted.
What do you mean by that?
Quit hanging around the wrong places, watching inappropriate movies and television, listening to sinful conversations; getting into compromising situations. Change some of your friendships. Some of your so-called friends are beginning to get to you. They'll have you completely involved in wrong things before long. Don't be fooled. They advertise they're having fun, but for you it would be ruin. Don't use me for an escape hatch.
I don't understand.
Sure you do. You've done it lots of times. You get caught in a bad situation, you get into trouble and then you come running to me. "Lord, help me out of this mess, and I promise you I'll never do it again." You remember some of those bargains you tried to make with me?
Yes, and I'm ashamed, Lord. I really am.
Which bargains are you remembering?
Well, when the woman next door saw me backing away from the neighborhood bar. I'd told my wife I
was going to the store. I remember telling you, "Lord, don't let her tell my wife where I've been. I promise I'll be in church every Sunday."
She didn't tell your wife, but you didn't keep your promise, did you?
I'm sorry Lord, I really am. Up until now I thought if I just prayed the Lord's prayer everyday, then I could do what I liked. I didn't expect anything to happen like it did.
Go ahead. Finish your prayer.
Oh yes.... For Thine is the kingdom and the power, and the glory forever and forever. Amen.
Do you know what would bring me glory? What would make me really happy?
No, but I'd like to know. I want to please You. I can see what a mess I've made out of my life, and I can see how great it would be to really be one of Your followers.
You just answered the question.
I did?
Yes, the one thing that would bring me glory is to have people like you truly love me. And I can see that happening between us. Now that some of these old sins are exposed and out of the way, well, there's no telling what we can do together.
Lord, let's see what we can make of me, OK?
- Author unknown
THE AWAKENING
A time comes in your life when you finally get it . . . When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are . . . and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and
blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how
much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you
owe your parents.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love . . . and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms just to make you happy.
And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely . . . And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up." You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK . . . and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch . . . and in the process you internalize the meaning of
self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care of it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest.
And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve . . . and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time. FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.
And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state -- the ego.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that
millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to as best as you can.
- Author unknown
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IT WAS ALWAYS WINTER IN KOREA |
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It was always winter in Korea
–
no matter what the time of year,
the seasons ran unto each other
in one long thread without a gateway.
Snow melted into snow.
Ice iced over ice.
And sparrows like the soldiers of both sides
didn’t seem to notice
the absence of spring.
or the neglect of summer on the landscape.
Some days were colder than others,
that’s all
but even looking back through army snapshots
I came across no comrades, no buddies
posing or going about their business
with
their shirts off.
Only black and whites or slides,
but even they look faded-
black and white like winter.
One shot of me and a friend –
whose name
I can’t remember –
shows us squatted, bent over at a table
In T-shirts, eating kimchee,
and that’s the closest photographic memory I own
depicting a single summer soldier.
I wasn’t quite eighteen
I had a year and some months yet to go
till I would be called up
so I volunteered for the draft.
The government used to let you do that –
that way a man or boy-man
got his service over early
and headed home a certified reserve civilian-
a veteran, a hero, experience hardened,
a big shot till his severance pay
and unemployment check ran out
The first combat I saw was at Fort Ord,
down the coast from San Francisco.
During sixteen weeks of basic training
thirty-six men in my division were killed
or killed themselves.
An instructor, "funning it"
threw a live grenade at one recruit;
it blew off half his arm.
He was reprimanded, given four days’ leave with pay
and then came back to work.
One night, jogging through the darkness on a hike,
A non-com coming in off pass
plowed into the tail end of our squadron
in his nineteen fifty Cadillac
killing five men instantly, wounding seven more.
Few soldiers oversees could make that boast.
No board of inquiry was convened
and no Inspector General came
That never happened in The Flying Sixty-Third,
but he was told by the Commandant himself
that drinks and driving just don’t mix
a popular slogan of the day.
We’ll never know how many lives it saved.
Six weeks into basic,
long after the infiltration course
would take another nine men’s lives,
Corporal Garner, I think that was his name,
got up from bed while the barracks slept
and hanged himself
from the rafter just above his bunk.
His deed did not disturb the quiet.
Only each man soloing
His individualistic snore
sliced the silence.
Stumbling out of bed, but half awake
on my way to take piss
I bumped against his body
and set it twirling in mid-air.
I did not cry out or cry.
I only sat down on the footlocker
opposite this slowly-slower still-turning man
and staring straight-ahead said shit.
I might have tried to wake the others,
but that emotion, the reaction would come later.
The noose around the deepening purple neck,
the head bent over, eyes bulging
ready to drop out like aggies.
The shape of him that morning still circles
in my mind.
He had been the mailman,
the quartermaster passing out reality
in envelopes of every color, twice a day.
Pink envelopes from pink-cheek girls
some of us had left behind
blue envelopes from mothers
and envelopes with stamps embossed on them
from practical, utilitarian fathers.
It took the company commander one full week
to appoint another mailman
and then I think he only did it
to alleviate the bags of mail
that started stacking.
All of us wrote home about it
but of course the letters never left the post.
So much was going on,
being pushed and crammed into our heads
that most of us forgot to rewrite
the incident
in letters sent again
that finally reached their destinations.
Three men died of poisoning
over a long weekend.
Another seven had their stomachs pumped.
We were never told and never knew
where the poison came from
or any other circumstance
related to this latest inconvenience.
We did not know we were pieces of meat
expendable
to be delivered to the battle ground
after we’d been made ready
for the sport.
And after these new deaths
whole sackfuls of Hersheys and Baby Ruths
were carried to the class or field each day.
Mess hall attendance dropped
and packages of food from home
were usually half eaten
by the newest mailman
before he made delivery
War is hell.
Especially in training camps.
I should have started realizing that
the first morning we fell into the street
to stand formation.
The barracks sergeant gave a little speech
just before the role-call
You men, he said, there are two things
we don’t allow and we don’t stand for
in this man’s army…
Eagerly I listened on
I didn’t want to break no rules.
…racial and religious prejudice, he continued
and gum in the urinals.
I suppose those are pretty useful truths
in army life or just in life.
The first we take self-evident.
Ah, but the second is much more practical
if you’ve ever had to clean
a row of barracks’ urinals.
Finally on a boat
that headed toward Japan
one day out of harbor you could see
the snow cone of Mt. Fuji,
then boxed inside a flying boxcar
for the ride from Tokyo to Pusan
someone said aloud, I hear it’s cold there.
Memories of boot camp,
not yet completely gone
would soon be taken over by that cold.
I never talked to anyone about it much
or heard somebody else express it
but I knew it to be fact
and far away from fiction,
it was always winter in Korea.
I wonder if the climate’s
that way still?
Surely snow is not the normal covering
for ground where farmers work the earth
every day of every year.
Maybe it was only one long winter
made up by both sides for the war.
I’ve heard that steam rose up
and covered everything like
fog
in the Asian jungles of Cambodia
and the squatting forests
of North and South Vietnam
and that no matter
what the time of year
it always seemed like summer there.
Someone else will have to write
of that.
I only know for sure
that it was always winter in Korea.
- from "The Power Bright & Shining", 1980 |
