SATURDAY
STUFF |
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Rod & Sunny: Photo by Bob Gentry
8/5/1999
A Thought for Today
Averse is easy and a bad habit. Be a benefactor and watch your fortunes grow.
Today's stuff is kind of a mixed bag, sorta like my bed before I clean it off at the end of the week. No one seems to be more open for pot shots (with every pundent going through the opening) than Bill Gates, so it's a pleasure to print something favorable about him.
THE WORLD ACCORDING TO BILL GATES
Coral writes:
"Not sure if I sent you this one to you, but It DOES have resonance for everyday life!"
OPENING DOORS AND GATES
In Bill Gates' message about life to
recent high school and college graduates, he listed 11 things they did not learn in school. He talked about how feel-good, politically correct teachings have created a full generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept has set them up for
failure in the real world.
Here's his list of Rules for Life:
RULE 1 - Life is not fair, get used to it.
RULE 2 - The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
RULE 3 - You will NOT make $40,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone until you earn both.
RULE 4 - If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He / She doesn't have tenure.
RULE 5 - Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger-flipping; they called it opportunity.
RULE 6 - If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
RULE 7 - Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try "delousing" the
closet in your own room.
RULE 8 - Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life
has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the
slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
RULE 9 - Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
RULE 10 - Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
RULE 11 - Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
(We might add an other one to the above; Don't be in a hurry to sell Microsoft short.)
WISE WORDS
Dogs103 picked up on and passed along one of Paul Harvey's better radio editorials.
PAUL HARVEY WRITES
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better. I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meatloaf sandwiches.
I really would.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are
sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep. I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in, I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.
When you want to see a movie and your little brother wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him. I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely. On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you
two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one. I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books. When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head. I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn you hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole. If a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle. May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays. I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through
your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you-tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
Send this to all of your friends who mean the most to you. We secure friends not by accepting favors but by doing them. Paul Harvey...GOOD DAY!
HEY SMART SHOPPERS!
This obviously mass-mailed but very serious sales pitch arrived in my E-Box last week. After reading it I think you'll see why I feel lucky to be on their mailing list.
BUTT DO THEY CARY BKS ON WRITING LITERAT EDNGLISH
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Thank you for your shopping ! Kivy Corporation
(Note: The pleasure was all mine, Kivy)
KID STUFF
I like this list sent in by Scoutmaster Wes a lot.
IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND LIFE ASK THE KIDS
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait." Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus."
____________________
A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"
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After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."
____________________
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
____________________
A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer.
For several evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after
the mother. Then one night the child was ready to solo.
The mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated words, right up to the end. "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail"...
______________________
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!"
CYBOR-NATING
Jay Leno has a new segment on his show entitled "The George W. Bush Quote of the Day" in which he shows a video clip of Shrub in a stump speech being his entertaining self. My current favorite is from Monday's show in which Bushy announced "Almost 100% of our imports come from overseas."
(Nice to know we still import our spuds from exotic Idaho.)
A year ago this week Petula Clark opened at The Pantages Theatre in Los Angeles in "Sunset Blvd." Tomorrow on Some of the Best we revisit that opening night. Sleep warm.
RM 10/3/2000 Previously unpublished.
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