31st July & 1st August, 2004
Rod 4/16/04 Photo by Billy Iz
A Thought for Today
Always look toward the stars. The gutter
is too easy an alternative.
TWO PROSE POEMS from IN SEARCH OF EROS
As leaves blow along the beach
and the bleached starfish
are washed upon the shore I wait.
watching seasons come and go,
not pretending anymore
or daring to imagine
uncertain even of spring, I wait.
I put a seashell to my ear
and it all comes back;
the Mediterranean blue, the yellow sun
the children running on the beach that day
the wind’s soft murmur in the rocks and you.
I wanted you
that day at the beach
because you were beautiful.
because you smiled
and because I knew I would be good for you.
I wanted you because
my arms were aching for something warm,
something remembered –
but you never looked up.
The heart is like everything else
it has its seasons. It has its time.
I wait now at the beach or walking by the river
or looking up beyond the bridges to the sky.
I wait and listen or put a seashell
to my ear and it all comes back.
I want autumn.
I want the leaves to start falling
and the slow rain and the white moon
and the lighted windows after eight o’clock
and the smiles of people I’ve not met yet.
And love, all elbows and knees and breasts
coming to me in the night, letting go,
letting go then going away.
I want kisses that know the whole body
geography and love weight
and little hands that cover my eyes
against the bare walls.
The Bach music to still the murmurs
and hold the breathing back
To know the wild inside of love again
and find the dark places
I want autumn to come back.
Birds and butterflies
dart down canyons
between tall buildings
looking for a place to hide
as the sky above the city darkens
and the rain begins. Timid at first - unsure
then creeping onto windows ledges
and foraging along the sidewalk.
They are tearing down the building
across the street and the old woman
who sat cushion high behind the flower boxes
is gone. Even the children who played hopscotch
along the broken sidewalk have disappeared.
Only the multi-colored cat,
preening in the shop window
is unconcerned as night begins.
after an even longer day than yesterday.
there is a fog and a little rain
I suppose the long slow summer is gone
the warm time is over..
Just as well I guess
all the day’s can not be shinning bright
all the nights something to remember.
I am sorry we quarreled
I always feel ashamed afterward.
I always need you most when we have quarreled.
but think about the good times if you can
don’t walk in the rain anymore tonight.
-from the album “In Search of Eros,” 1963, 2003. First print publication
in written form, July 15, 2003. Both JimJann & Brownstone appeared in
condensed, alternate versions in Stanyan Street & Other Sorrows, 1966
Hello August! Here’s to a lazy, safe and productive weekend; Yep, you
can be lazy and productive at the same time. Sleep warm and join me
again on Monday.
RM 7/30/2004 8:36PM PDST
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